The Ultimate Guide To Phone Sex

While we all can’t get enough skin-on-skin action, sometimes a voice is all we need. Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship, traveling on an extended work trip, or simply chatting it up with your sneaky link from the comfort of your own bedroom, you’re guaranteed to dial up the intimacy with some good old fashioned phone sex. It certainly gives new meaning to the term “word play.”

Care to turn your next conversation into an X-rated situation, but don’t know where to start? Well, you’ve come to the right place.

Step One: Set The Scene

First things first, you’ll want to set the sensual scene. Slip on your favorite Fleur du Mal set, light some candles, and bring out your go-to toy(s) for the evening’s events. Make sure the batteries are charged - things are about to get buzzing.

Step Two: Get Inspired

Even if you’re an experienced dirty talker in person, doing the deed over the phone requires extra-descriptive seduction and, of course, quite a bit more talking. You may want to get inspired before jumping in.

“To learn to communicate explicitly about your needs and desires, try listening to audio porn,” advises Dr. Tara, sex professor, author of Sexual Communication: Research in Action, and host of the Luvbites podcast. “There are many different types, from hot and passionate vibes to BDSM-adjacent stories. To prepare, try listening to a guided sexual meditation on YouTube before the phone sex session to get you feeling more relaxed, confident, and in the mood.”

Step Three: Get Your Lover On The Line

Hear that? It’s the sound of your inhibitions breaking free. Time to get your lover on the line! Now that the speakerphone is turned on, it’s your - and your partner’s - turn. Not unlike your typical IRL romp, you should get things started with some foreplay. As for what that looks - well, sounds - like over the phone? 

According to Wednesday Lee Friday, a former professional phone sex operator and contributor to Women’s Health Interactive, “Great phone sex is first and foremost about connection and enthusiasm. Remind your partner of all the things you love about them and their body, and all the things you’re planning to do with them next time you’re alone.”

Step Four: Time To Get Spicy

Once things start to really heat up, you can try getting spicier. 

“[This] is a great time to bring up new things you might want to try, new potential kinks to entertain. Bringing these things up during a hot phone sex session can provide a low-stress environment to toy with new ideas in the bedroom (and out),” says Wednesday. And don’t forget the sound effects. “Heavy breathing, moaning, or even the sound of vibrating toys in the background can enhance your experience.” Turn up the volume and take it up a notch - you’re the star of the show. Who cares if your neighbors can hear?

Step Five: Give ‘Em A Call

The best part about playing telephone? The connection lingers long after your conversation has climaxed. In fact, regularly engaging in phone sex can strengthen your relationship in other ways, and bring you closer to your boo than ever - even when you’re apart.

As Wednesday explains, “The art of articulating your wants and needs, combined with the art of actively listening and responding to your partner, isn’t just the key to great phone sex, it can be a gateway to better interpersonal communication all around.”

So go on, give ‘em a call. You know you want to.