Swinging 101: Care To Join?

Let’s be real, you couldn’t imagine eating the same meal over and over again, so why settle for the same ol’ snack in the bedroom? When it comes to fulfilling your more, well, carnal appetites, you can expand your palate in more ways than one (or two, or three..) by hitting the babe buffet.

Welcome to the world of swinging. An act (and art) which can be dabbled in whether you’re single and ready to mingle or looking to have some fun in your committed relationship, swinging involves the enjoyment of multiple partners, typically in a group setting, occasionally with another couple, and always with the utmost enthusiasm.

While the term “swinging” may conjure up images of the free-wheeling, free-loving movement of the 1970s, trust us, it’s no longer limited to rolling around in the shag carpets of conversation pits in suburbia (unless, you know, you’re into the whole retro thing). If you’re wondering how to join in on the fun-–quite literally-–in the 21st century, follow Fleur’s guide to getting your swing on.

Spot The Pineapple

In the garden of earthly delights, pineapples are the actual forbidden fruit. For decades, a pineapple—particularly one turned upside down—has been used as a secret symbol to signify that a couple is down for some “alternative” action (if you catch our drift). Traditionally, the once-considered “rare and exotic” fruit was used as a sign of wealth and hospitality; it was a way to show guests that hosts were happy to share their bounty. Indeed, its more modern meaning is certainly a tongue-in-cheek way to communicate the same thing, it’s just more about sharing the goods in the bedroom rather than around a banquet table.

Whether you’re scrolling social media and dating apps or wandering around a resort on your next vacation, keep an eye out for the prickly fruit. Couples may hint at the fact that they’re looking to play either by popping a pineapple emoji into their bio, hanging a decorative one on their hotel door, or even displaying it as a print on their clothing. Let’s just say the pineapple juice is worth the squeeze—if you’re willing to take a sip.

Three’s Company

If you’re flying solo and itching to become the meat in a couple’s sandwich (so to speak), congratulations: You’re a unicorn. Like the term suggests, a unicorn is a magical, beautiful creature that provides some exciting novelty in a couple’s love life, typically in the form of a sensual ménage à trois. You, meanwhile, get to soak in the spotlight while indulging in double the fun.

So how do you know if a pair is looking for a guest star? If you spot some hotties across the bar and they’re *both* giving you the up-and-down, don’t be shy—strike a smile and hold their gaze if you’re interested, giving them a wink of an invitation. Or simply wander on over yourself and comment on what a gorgeous couple they are. If you get a warm welcome (instead of a cold shoulder) from both parties, just take it from there.

And if it happens to be a couple you’re already familiar with? Well, if you’re often invited out with them and feel less like a third wheel and more like three’s company, and get the vibe that there’s a little flirtation on rotation, chances are they’re looking to be more than just friends. The next time they invite you over to “Netflix and Chill,” secretly don your sexiest lingerie, snag a spot between them on the couch and let the unicorn magic unfold.

Swap or Not

On the flip side, if you’re one-half of a curious couple and you and your partner have decided to open up your boudoir doors, there are a few ways to go about it. As mentioned, you can go on the hunt for a third to start slow and keep the party slightly more intimate. Or you can really lean into the common synonym for swinging: “swapping.” Swapping partners, to be more specific. This, of course, requires getting at least one other couple involved and upping the ante with a foursome (or moresome).

Not sure how to test the waters? Well, you can look out for those pineapples on your next romantic getaway, or join a dating app like Feeld which caters to more nontraditional (and nonmonogamous) intimate arrangements to meet another open-minded duo. You can also plan a date night at a good ol’ sex club and explore new territory together. Whether you want to swap partners with another pair you meet there is up to you. Just don’t forget to dress up for the occasion and come prepared with party favors that’ll tickle everyone’s fancy, from feather-topped riding crops to leather floggers.

However you go about finding new “friends, you might also find yourself an audience during the act. Voyeurism and exhibitionism tend to be kinky companions to the swinging scene, and you or one of your partners may prefer to see or be seen while the other gets their groove on. Swinging and partner swapping may not necessarily require everyone’s physical involvement, but you can put on quite the sexy show if someone simply wants to watch from the sidelines. In that case, you can keep ‘em cuffed up while they enjoy the show.

Your Pleasure Is Key

Whether you’re swinging solo or with your boo, the only thing you need to remember when rubbing elbows (and then some) with multiple partners is to embrace your pleasure while tapping into your confidence. After all, what’s more empowering than embracing your desires and being bold enough to bring your fantasies to life?